Define "chronic" masturbator.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
