Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
