my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize