No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That accounts for only three of the penises
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
