six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
tell me about the fingering
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
