I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
