I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
