I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
