Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize