Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just high enough for therapy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
