There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
