Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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