dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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