lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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