I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
