So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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