I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
