well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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