I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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