Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
