Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
