I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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