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• (231): View more from Michigan

  bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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• (+66): View more from Thailand

  We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA

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• (801): View more from Utah

  walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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• (530): View more from California

  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

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• (310): View more from California

  I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.

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• (631): View more from New York

  A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.

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• (530): View more from California

  Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I want you to worship my cock.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  That's not how you start a conversation.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.

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