I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
