HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
