You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
