she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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