I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
