The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
