He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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