By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
