My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
