3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
