theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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