We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
