Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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