evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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