garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
