Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize