just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
