he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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