my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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