I love black thongs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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