If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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