Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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