went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
