can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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