ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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