hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
