What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Less talking, more tequila
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
