this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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