love makes seman taste better
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
