She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
