just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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