Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize