Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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