I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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