two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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