In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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