I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize