I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
