you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
