How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
