we're blogging at a bar
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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