her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
