she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was like eating out sand paper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
