Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
