Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i will never coherently bang her
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
